Parents today (and probably of every generation) worry about what their kids eat. Whether it be too much, too little or not the right things, it is something that many parents think about on a daily basis, myself included. To help ease my concerns, I decided to do some reading. I came across a great book by Ellyn Satter – a family therapist and eating and feeding specialist. The book, Managing Your Child’s Weight: How to Help Without Harming, focuses more on my parenting choices than it does on what my child eats. It was just the book I was looking for.

Here is what it had to say:

Don’t Restrict Your Child’s Food

Withholding food from your children in the name of weight loss, whether blatantly or otherwise, will always lead to your child being preoccupied with food. This of course, upsets their natural relationship with food – making them want to eat more than they are hungry for when food is offered.

You do not have the right to control how much or even if your child eats…You are, however, responsible for what foods you offer them to eat and when and where they are allowed to eat them.

Understand Your Role In Feeding Your Child

You do not have the right to control how much or even if your child eats. That is something you need to trust them to decide. They may choose to eat three servings or nothing at all. Your job is to trust that they will eat what they need and grow accordingly. You are, however, responsible for what foods you offer them to eat and when and where they are allowed to eat them.

Meal Time Is the Most Important Time of The Day

Predictable meal and snack times are imperative to fostering a healthy relationship with food in your children. They need to trust you to provide food for them just as you trust them to eat however much they need to grow and be healthy. Eating on the run or allowing children to graze all day teaches children to ignore their natural hunger cues (and eat nothing at dinner). Eating time should be special and spent at the table as a family.

 Embrace Your Child’s Natural Shape

As Americans, we are overly concerned with people looking a certain way, being a certain shape and size. We even have surgery to achieve it. Unfortunately, this attitude trickles down to our children. One of your most important roles as a parent is to understand and embrace your child’s natural body type and size no matter if it is much smaller or larger than “average”.

 I haven’t even scratched the surface of what Ellyn Satter had to share in her book. If you worry about your child’s eating habits, I recommend you pick up a copy. This book gave me a fresh perspective and a new way of approaching my daughter’s relationship with food. I no longer worry about what she eats or doesn’t, or if I am making it worse. I now trust my daughter to eat what she needs to grow and be healthy. I also trust myself to provide the meal times and food choices she needs to grow into a healthy adult with a healthy relationship with food.

If your toddler is anything like mine, anything messy is fun. In our house, that translates to a lot of painting with fingers and, yes, sometimes even toes. But, this month, I wanted to push the painting envelope a little bit and introduce my daughter to some new painting techniques she might enjoy. We’ve selected the top three most engaging, creative and just plain fun ideas to share with you. Enjoy!

This one should definitely be done outside. And, even outside, it is going to be super messy. The good news is it is totally worth it and if you leave them mostly unclothed, you can just hose them off when you are done. This was by far my daughters most enjoyed painting experience. I, admittedly, had a lot of fun with this one as well.

1. Gather your supplies. You will need washable paint (I found Crayola’s finger paint is very versatile and can be used for all three projects), heavy weight paper, paper plates, and of course fly swatters. You can usually find the heavier weight paper, paper plates and fly swatters at the dollar store.
2. Lay out or hang your paper. We chose to hang ours on the fence using thumb tacks. If you prefer, you can lay your paper on the ground and secure it in place with some rocks.
3. Pour your paint on the paper plates. I used one plate for each color. You could also use a washable dish to hold your paint, but I liked the idea of being able to just throw away the paint mess when we were done.
4. Dip the fly swatter in the paint so that the swatter is completely flat on the paper plate. Then, go to town swatting and splattering paint all over your paper. I think you will be pleased with what you and your toddler create!

I was hesitant to try this one. I didn’t really see the point of painting with cotton balls attached to clothespins. However,  I was pleasantly suprised when we gave this one a try, because my daughter definitely saw the value in it. She loved this simple painting activity so much we have done it several times since. 

1. Gather your supplies. You will need cotton balls, clothes pins, paper plates and paper. You can use the finger paints from the first activity for this one as well.
2. Lay your paper on the table. I find it helpful to tape the paper in place. Otherwise it is constantly slipping and sliding while my daughter is trying to create her masterpiece.
3. Pour your paint on the paper plates. Again, I like to use paper plates for this purpose because of the super simple clean up. You can, however, use washable dishes and just wash them when you are finished.
4. Attach a cotton ball to several clothespins in the same way that you would use them to hang clothes or keep multiple sheets of paper together.
5. Dip the cotton ball into the paint while holding onto the clothespin. Help your toddler explore the various different effects your makeshift paintbrush can have, from simply “dotting” the paper to creating long streaks of color.

Kids have probably been painting pasta since the beginning of time and for a good reason. It’s fun! We took this oldie but goodie and shook it up a bit. My daughter loved not only painting her pasta but using it to create her very own necklace as well.

1. Gather your supplies. You will need paint (again, use the same bottles as before), pasta that can be strung onto yarn (like ziti), and a clear plastic container with lid. It would also be helpful to have some wax paper and some yarn but it is not essential. If you have some glitter on hand, you might want to grab that as well.
2. Have your toddler put a handful of the pasta in the plastic container. Then, let them choose a color of paint to add to the mix. If you decided to use glitter, add some now as well.
3. Put the lid on your pasta, paint and glitter mixture. Shake the container back and forth and up and down for a minute or two.
4. Take out each piece of pasta and let it dry on wax paper (if you don’t have wax paper, you can let the pasta dry on a plate but it may stick).
5. Once the pasta is dry, you can string it onto some yarn to make a necklace for your toddler (or yourself). Or, if you or your toddler prefer, you can use your painted pasta to make another work of art by gluing it on paper to make numbers, letters or fun shapes.

Until recently, I believed that my daughter was going to be that amazing child who didn’t throw tantrums. When it finally happened, I was totally unprepared for her sudden show of force. The first time she had her melt down, I immediately gave in. Because she had never done it before, I figured the car seat must have been too hot or something must have pinched her. It wasn’t until I tried to strap her in the second time that I realized what was going on. This was going to be war.

It wasn’t until I tried to strap her in the second time that I realized what was going on. This was going to be war.

I spent ten minutes in the grocery store parking lot trying to force her into her seat while at the same time trying to remain calm. Those ten minutes felt like ten hours. I just kept telling her that I was sorry the car seat made her sad but that it kept her safe. My words of wisdom were falling on the uncompromising ears of a toddler. By this point, she was already hysterical and had a death grip on the car door. I resorted to bribery. Cookies, cake, balloons.. nothing worked.

After fighting with her for another 15 minutes, she slouched down in her seat and began sucking her thumb. She was exhausted and too tired to keep up the fight. I strapped her in and climbed into the front seat. I was exhausted too. I knew that before I faced another car seat battle, I needing to be prepared. I did some research and brain storming and came up with a few strategies to make the car seat more appealing.

Here is what we tried. Some worked and others were a bust. If you find your toddler needing a car seat intervention, try some of these out – one is sure to do the trick.

Strap their favorite doll in the seat.

The theory here is that they will see how awesome it is to sit in a seat through modeling with their favorite doll. This did not work for us. My daughter was more like, “Hey, if Mickey Mouse likes the car seat, he can have it!” This one was a total bust.

Bribe them with something.

Be warned! This will only work if you bribe them before they start with the tantrum. Otherwise, they will just throw the cookie in your face. Even though this strategy is the most effective for my daughter, it is my least favorite. I just don’t like the idea of giving her junk food (or a tv show on my phone) every time I want to go somewhere. I admit, though, I will use this one if I am in a hurry or have had a really bad day.

Reason with them.

Not even sure why I tried this one. You can’t reason with toddlers – they are just not reasonable! Although, if you have older kids, you might want to give this one a go.

Wait it out or “start over”.

This one is dangerous and can backfire. Letting my daughter play in the front of the car for a while will sometimes help the situation, other times it makes it much worse. I usually don’t try this one until all else has failed. If this also fails, I “start over”. I go back in the store we were in and walk around for a few minutes before trying the car seat again.

My friend Katie came over towards the end of my pregnancy to have little heart to heart about all things baby. I knew that she would give it to me straight, no sugar coating, so I was anxious to hear what she had to say. I wanted to absorb every ounce of her precious parenting wisdom.

I was sure that her insight would provide me with the edge I needed to be a fantastically put together new mom. But, when we started to talk about nursing, I began to lose faith. And, by the end of our conversation, I hoped that she was wrong about nursing altogether. But, after my daughter was born, I found out that she wasn’t. Not at all.

Of course, there are women out there who are nursing ninjas. From day one, their nipples are up to the task of tirelessly feeding a newborn. But, to the rest of us, I say be prepared! If you don’t end up one of the lucky few, you will at least know what you are facing.

Here is what she had to say.

1. Nursing is painful, at least in the beginning and by the beginning I mean 2 months.  You may have bloody, scabby, and sore nipples. I spent the first month of my nursing career crying during every feeding. The good news is this stage doesn’t last!

2. Nursing does not come naturally, at least not to most people. The position of the baby, where you will sit,  and how long it will take are all things that you will have to figure out as you go. It will be frustrating and it will be tiring. The good news is that you will figure it out and then nursing will be a breeze.

3. Nursing gets old. This happens faster for some people than others. The last thing in the world you are going to want to do some days is breastfeed your baby. The best thing to do in this situation is to just push through it. Repeat after me, “This too will pass.”

What I wasn’t prepared for, however, was how important the nursing experience would be for both my daughter and I. Nursing helped me overcome the overwhelming feelings of regret and sorrow I experienced after my failed attempt at a natural, vaginal birth. Nursing was the only thing that would stop my daughter’s continuous and hysterical crying during the first three months of her life. Breastfeeding was the only time that either of us had any peace.

Brutal honesty prepared me for the challenges that I faced as a new nursing mom. Without Katie’s warnings, I probably wouldn’t have made it past week one. Because of her wise words, I made it past a year. Katie made it past two. Both of us are glad we did it.